~27th feb 2010~

im still stuck in blogger. i really need to stop being lazy and switch to wordpress and not wait till last minute (26th march is the day blogger is ending it's ftp support).

ive got a month! haha.

im so happy.
im so happy.
im so happy.
but i am one in 1418 1536 (and still counting) right now. doesn't matter. it's enough to make me happy :D
i am so loyal i can't believe it.

i think i am lucky. but only i have the right to say i am lucky, i absolutely hate it when people say i am so lucky and my life is a breeze when you are not me. so please don't say that.

but i think i am lucky.

i am helping my friend edit her thesis. but i can't do it properly while listening to songs but i don't wanna do it without listening to songs or else it'll less enjoyable. i can't multi task very efficiently haha.

the numbers are ever increasing.

i'd soon get lost in a crowd.

it's the 28th now. february is ending. another year to go before february comes by again. february is my favourite month. don't you think february is a nice month? it's short and sweet, comes and goes and doesn't last as long as other months. it's as if it's never really there.

i am making chicken stock now! i intend to make the most delicious chicken stock in this world! haha~ hopefully it turns out nicely! i am someone who loves herbs and herby vegetables, i love thyme, rosemary, basil, parsley, celery, onions, leeks. add them into a soup and it is heavenly!

and no, i am not interested in cooking! i just wanna drink soup and my mom's not gonna make it, even if she does she's not gonna make it the way i want it so i have no choice but to make it myself. haha.

it's not 10pm. the paragraph above was typed out at about 5pm. my soup stock is finally done!

it looks so delicious! it doesn't just look delicious, it IS delicious. it is all natural, no nonsense and msg and whatever artificial flavouring there is out there.


this is the ingredients used:

gonna eat them, not gonna waste them :)

and this are the bones i picked out from the soup


my mom made my family go take photo stickers before i dye my hair back to black.


this machine makes me look good haha.


~23rd feb 2010~

it's tuesday and it's 9:13am and after this im gonna head to the library.

this is my last semester hopefully and i don't wanna screw it up so i am doing all i can to ensure i pass my final two papers!! i find the subjects i am taking not easy and right now i am still in that clueless stage so i gotta do something about it and if i stay at home i'll just be slacking away and doing nothing.



my eyes are not big, and that's after makeup! haha. but my eyes are really much healthier now that i wear circle lens less often.

and i love my hair! i love my haircut and my hair colour. only if i can have suhc hair forever. pink isn't something the average person would try, especially one whole head of pink, but i think i managed to pull it off quite well, it does suit my hairstyle and face!

i am no longer going for attachment! :D i am relieved my parents are ok with it, i am worried that it'll affect my schoolwork. but with the release of my results yesterday, i have renewed confidence! i will make sure i do my best this semester!


i love this song!!! thanks to sherlene who helped me find out the title of the song :D it sounds so sweet!

ok you don't need to play the video anymore. ive uploaded it to my radio blog. it should be playing. i love the song so much.

~16th feb 2010~ actually it's 15th but past midnight so whatever.

i decided to find reviews for monad.

to be honest, i liked 2 light songs in the album, memories and eirene. pleasant happy songs. so maybe i am contradicting myself here. and somehow i don't fancy new vidoll noisy songs cuz they're just noise and not really good songs.

BUT!! but but but but

just read this page at tainted world forum

i am cutting and pasting some reviews here:

"Memories is the first track... and I actually really enjoy it.

EVE was a terrible mess and I've never liked it. Too bland.

IKAROS was pretty fabulous, I think. Jui autotuned his voice and it sounded phenom!

Long Amour de la Distance did nothing really for me. I liked that the guitarist (his name escapes me) did some really cool things with the guitar, but mostly it was same old same old Vidoll.

Darwinism had a really cool intro, but after that... it just sort of fell off... it remionded me of Gaga Syrup or Nausea that were really good when I listened to them once, but after that... no.

I... don't even know what track 6 is called. It's written in Kanji/Katakana and I hate when people don't tag it in romaji. The really unfortunate part is it's a BEAUTIFUL upbeat ballad. Like, you can tell it's a romantic ballad, but it's not some weepy bullshit, it's really a real song! I love it! I need it to be romanized. Like nao.


Hot Cage Mix... I hate when they name their songs weird things like this. Like with Club B. But even more aggitating than that is the fact that they're always rock songs, and not really electric themed in any way. This is another song that I feel is good on the first listen, but never again. And there is this WEIRD voice thing in the far background of the song that has been in... I think... every song on the album. (Just got to the chorus... Chorus is actually REALLY good.)


Eirene... This song may become addicting really soon. I love the intro... I love the verse... I love it. Love love love. The heavy guitar works with his voice, and the intro was very misleading, but in a VERY good way.


Focus was one of my favorite Vidoll singles, just a really nice poprock song. I just sort of chose to believe that it wasn't Vidoll who could do something like that.


Lib[lo]ve I LOVE THIS. IT'S SO PRETTY<3

Overall the album gets a really solid 8.5/10. They REALLY impressed me with this. I didn't know it could be done, but they put out a beautifully done album!"

^ first post of the thread.

here is the second post:

"6 is "Remind Story 2 ~Hatsukoi" From what I can tell. Just so you know.

Edit: Adding my opinion but I don't normally write reviews, and I've never really paid much attention to Vidoll in the past, so, make of it what you will:

Track 1 - Memories: A little bland for me, I like the guitar that follows the chorus though.

Track 2 - EVE: I like Jui's voice in this song better than the first one. The chorus didn't do it for me. Musically I didn't think it was anything spectacular.

Track 3 - IKAROS: I have to admit I've always enjoyed auto-tuning when it's done deliberately and well so this one hit the right chord with me. I like the energy, the harder guitar, and Jui's clean voice coming through in the chorus.

Track 4 - Honoo Koi(?) ~Long amour de la distance~: Again, I'm liking the guitar which is really out of character for me. I think this one would make a good single, I know if I heard it on the radio I wouldn't change the channel.

Track 5 - Darwinism: Guitar is pretty boring in this one, I like the record scratching in the background, love Jui's voice, will probably have to listen to it a few more times to try and figure out exactly what he's saying in the beginning there.

Track 6 - Remind Story2 ~Hatuskoi~: The sort of song I'd put on a "good mood" playlist along with other bouncy happy stuff. Definitely put a little smile on my face. I think I could have done without the guitar solo.

Track 7 - Hot cage mix: Would have been my favorite song on the album had it had a stronger bridge and chorus. I can't really explain it, but pretty much all of these songs are falling short in some area for me.

Track 8 - Eriene: I thought this was going to be a very slow ballad, very misleading beginning. I'm pleased though, I think this is the first song I would be willing to put into permanent rotation. Everything hit the right note for me, good guitar, good vocals, good energy. 5 star song.

Track 9 - Focus: I liked this one. Makes sense that they used it as a single, like Track 4 it's a very radio-friendly song.

Track 10 - Lib [lo] ve: Poppy and fun. The last three songs were really the highlight of the album for me."

no offence to the two reviewers above, everyone is entitled to their own taste.

however, the thing is, the vidoll fanbase has changed. it's no longer the same. maybe that's the reason why vidoll's sound has changed so much? or maybe they have run out of their old creative ideas?

although i may not fancy their new noisy stuff, i like their old heavy stuff. heavy and noisy, there IS a difference. old songs like gyaku gire, kichigai tv, dying cast, there is a heavy bass, which may make the songs heavier than what most people like, but they aren't like mindless screaming, mindless barking, mindless wild guitar playing with no direction. sad to say, many new noisy vidoll songs are just mindless noise. old heavy vidoll songs used to be about genius arrangement, careful composition, complementary sounds and tones, well thought out songs.

although i got to give shun credit because he does have some awesome guitar parts which i like, but most of the songs are just like....huh??

and now about non heavy vidoll stuff. i miss old songs like peko crash trap, kimi o nosete, hiiragi no sou. they're light and pleasant. but nowadays, we get stuff like focus (complete crap, seriously), and lib[lo]ve was good.... until the chorus. gosh the chorus! i feel like pulling my hair out. the arrangement and verses are good, but the chorus just kills everything! remind story 2 is ok, but it is pop. pop!! some old vidoll songs are pretty poppy, but this is pure pop!! ok, nothing can be worse than focus though. (i vote focus as the worst vidoll song in history)

by the way hiiragi no sou is a funeral song! i read the translation about a month ago! i thought it was a christmas song, cuz it was released on christmas day and it sounds so wintry and chrismassy to me. i am so wrong!

but new fans are lapping all these up.

older fans like me (i liked them only since 2004, i didn't know them in their first 2 years, but at least i knew them when hide and yukine was still in vidoll and their songs still retained their old flavour) are left behind in the past.

of cuz, there are a few really good songs here and there, but the entire sound and style has changed and i feel sad.

jui is still my favourite musician though. that fact will never change. his voice is a gift. a gift to him, a gift to vidoll, a gift to anyone who likes any vidoll song, even if it's only one. i wish i can buy him some nicotine patches or nicotine gum and send it over as a fan gift.

here i present you my favourite song from monad, eirene! it's composed by shun, shun does have some good songs here and there.

i miss the days when vidoll songs weren't well known, forums had few vidoll posts, few vidoll fans, their concert video files were so hard to find and could only be traded (ok, but i do buy their stuff time to time if i can afford it) if you're lucky enough to have other rare files people want, when vidoll song titles were all in complicated japanese i cannot understand. haha i am weird but i like song titles i cannot understand or remember properly! (precisely why i didn't know hiiragi no sou meant holly's funeral)

^ i have just wrote a whole truckload of stuff no one is interested in reading. but i must get it off my chest!

my total haul for this year: $430! :D most is going into my bank though! i need to save!

anyway, can you believe i have got 8 subscribers on youtube? when all i got is crappy nonsense videos to post on my blog?? i wonder if people watch my videos all the must think is what the hell am i talking about why am i rambling so much little nonsense here and there. and 8 people actually subscribe to me i am stunned! of cuz some famous people on youtube probably have hundreds of thousands of subscribers, but i can't believe my crap can get any more than zero subscribers! have a look: http://www.youtube.com/lolita23ku

i do have my microdermal videos on my account but i have set it to private so anyone who wants to see it please tell me. i didn't show who subscribed to me because i think it will be embarassing for them to be subscribing to me haha. (and no, none are fake accounts and i didn't ask anyone to subscribe because i do not know any of them except one from soompi circle lens thread)

i am looking forward to shark's fin soup today/tomorrow :D i love shark's fin soup <3 but too bad the one my mom ordered is coming with mashed pumpkin and god knows how much i hate pumpkin but we'll see how it goes and of cuz i must say it or people will hate me, eat shark's fin in moderation so that sharks will not be wiped out.

i am not against anyone eating any sort of animal but hopefully the animal wasn't killed in a horrific way which sadly most farm animals are killed like that and treated badly throughout their lives (but i don't have the willpower to be vegan) but don't criticise people for eating exotic stuff as long as you eat meat (fish included, i can't stand people who consider themselves vegetarians when they eat fish! please! the fish is a living animal too!!!) and as long the exotic animal wasn't killed in a horrific way and the animal isn't endangered or near extinction. or else, go ahead and eat all the polar bears and whales you want, it'll be hypocritical of me to protect certain animals and eat the rest. just don't prolong their suffering or cause the eco system to be destroyed or turned upside down. (hence no tiger meat, lesser bluefin tuna (never eaten it before), lesser shark's fin)

i watched little big soldier today! i am so sad!!! jackie chan's character died in the end! people are so evil!! >( i don't like evil people! there are so many evil people living in our midst! of cuz not just people who plunder and kill, but people who cheat and con others, people who are willing to give up integrity for money and fame and power, people who are willing to frame others, people who scheme against innocent people, people who use others to their own advantage, throw, use and toss aside when they finally get what they want, people who treat others unreasonably and think the whole world owes them some serious shit, and god knows what others this list is not complete!! how can anyone hurt another person without batting an eyelid?

why do evil people exist! why must so many innocent people suffer? but like what my mom says, you'll only cry for justice when you're being bullied. who knows if these bullied people one day rise up to the top and have power, they themselves would be the very ones treating others badly! many people are like that actually! i hope that i will never ever turn out to be like that! and i hope everyone will not be like that too!


~13th feb 2010~

i have a piece of filth for a brother. i am very, extremely mad.
i envy people with nice sisters, and not filthy brothers. nice brothers are fine too, but mine is extremely filthy!

i am so tired yet again.

i wish i can hibernate and sleep a whole week through! i'd probably die if i attempted that though. if i wake up later than 12.30pm i usually get a splitting headache for the entire day.

rourou is living in a snow wonderland right now. i wish i can join her, but i am broke and i need to study.

my lesson on thursday was cancelled. i only knew of it when i entered the classroom! the sms to inform us that class is cancelled only came 30 min after class was supposed to start! my teacher is sick. i wish i can get angry, but usually my teacher does not cancel lessons unless he is seriously sick and most of the time it involves hospital stays and so i just wish he'll get better.

so we went to watch a movie instead. percy jackson and the lightning thief. this sounds stupid, but this is the first time i am watching such a fantasy harry potter style movie (no i have never watched harry potter before) and most of the time i was freaked out by the monsters in the movie! but overall it was pretty good.

but it was one day wasted and it feels wasteful. i should be getting more knowledgeable, not wasting my time away!

i have a new goal in life!

my new goal is to be a better person, be beautiful inside and out and to make people smile! i have been causing so much trouble to everyone and i wish that my presence here will be able to bring at least a bit of happiness to everyone around me. i will try to be more considerate, helpful and be able to keep my bad emotions like anger and frustration in check.

my life is pretty sucky right now though.


~9th feb 2010~

i need to switch over to wordpress soon. but i am so lazy to do so!!
i am so tired right now!

on saturday my grandmother, and my dad's brother and his family are gonna come to my home. should be ok, except i don't like that grandmother. but most of the time i just stay away from her. on sunday im going to my mom's uncle's home. i am so glad my mom's relatives are not coming to our home!!! i initially thought they were coming and when my mom said otherwise i was so relieved and my mom said i was very antisocial -____-

but it's really tiring to host people. but if it's a small gathering like the saturday gathering where everyone mostly close to one another and there's not too many people and you don't have to clean up your place just to accomodate them, i really don't mind. but i don't know my mom's relatives too well and there's just so many of them and i can't tell most of them apart and my mom will make sure we tidy the entire house to accomodate them, and it is just so troublesome and tiring!

haha. but because i voiced out my relief my mom scolded me. haha. my brother didn't, but he is glad inside. but my brother says the one who is most relieved is my father!! but he is smart not to say anything or else my mom will blow her top off. hahahaha.

this is my microdermal from the side


i feel like getting another one about an inch or two below it in future :)

this was the jewelry i used:
the anchor, it is not so long, you see there is a line on the stem, you have the screw the top part of the stem off.


and with the stud screwed on the anchor


anchor is from industrial strength (a premium brand, i don't want anything less than that if im gonna get it implanted into my skin) and bought from steelnavel in case anyone of you wanna do an md in future ^^

i tried putting on mascara with my wonderfully curled lashes curled with my wonderful tweezer style eyelash curler. they look good. they look longer in real life than in the picture. using majolica majorca's lash expander frame plus.



ohhh. and i need to start running again! ever since my 6km run on 31st jan i have not hit the running track yet!

rourou!!!!! please go to brand x if you have the time! it's in ikebukuro! you can find the map here!! before monad dvd runs out!!

this is so irritating, i didn't visit brand x when i was in japan and i stayed in ikebukuro! :( only i can be stupid enough to miss out important things.

my results are gonna be out in 13 days. 13 days seem so long! i want my results out, but i don't want it to be the 22nd of febuary, cuz it means im closer and closer to the june exams. by the way 22nd february is my grandmother's birthday :D (not the grandmother i don't like, this grandmother is nice! she is also very open and does not scold me for all the weird things i do)

i love the songs memories and eirene on monad!! although jui's singing is a little weak on memories. but for the other songs he sang normally. listening to memories just makes me wish that jui would stop smoking.

i love this song ラブラドール by chara!! it makes me happy! it's so cute!! anyone know what does ラブラドール mean? raburadooru. i can't seem to make anything out of it!! but doesn't matter. i like the song. i like the pv too, chara looks surprisingly good! and the little boy in the pv is so cute too!!!! i will die of cuteness, haha! embedding of the video is not possible but this is the link of the video.

im in an extremely good mood now :D


~6th feb 2010~

will not be adding new posts to blogger, so all my updates will be added on to this post :D

gotten my microdermal done today :D




i have troubled esther again, and i am extremely troublesome, so im very grateful to her! she helped me take a video, i have uploaded it to youtube, but my side view is so ugly i'll post it up another day haha. my face looks like a potato from the side.

my micro is slightly off centre i think, but i still love it! my mom isn't pleased with it, she got pretty mad for a while. but now she's ok again. maybe i may have more bargaining power in future once i start working and earning my own keep :) so no more piercings until some time later! but right now i don't have any in mind actually, so im ok :) probably more microdermals in future :)


/// quick edit ///

blogger is stupid and it's gonna end it's ftp services!
what is it?
basically ftp is something like a program where you upload things onto your website and i am using blogger to blog (in case anyone doesn't know) and i use blogger's ftp service. means i blog, blogger creates the codes and files for me and automatically uploads it to the server where my site is on, i.e. publish my blog for me on inoru.net.

but apparenly ftp service is costing blogger tons of money and it only serves a very small population of bloggers and so blogger is discontinuing it! it means that i can no longer use blogger.

i have decided to switch to wordpress and am in the process of setting up a wordpress blog. i am using a test blog to edit all my coding currently, and soon (maybe a couple of weeks later) i will delete inoru.net/log for a short while, install wordpress on it and will put all the files back, so there will be a short time where this page will disappear when i do all the transferring.

it'll be weird to change to a different blogging program. i am sad. don't wish to change, blogger is easy to use, but i have no choice :( im trying to keep the url the same though.

/// end of edit ///

results are gonna be out in less than a month's time! i wanna pass EVERYTHING! EVERYTHING! i hope god is reading this post PLEASE LET ME PASS EVERYTHING!!!!

anyway im back to running! YAY. covered a distance of 4350m yesterday (psst it includes 870m of walking hee) i really need a boost so that i can cover 6km on sunday! till now i never in my entire life ran 6km at one go before! the most was 5220m which was over a week before (before i fell sick and was banned from running for more than a week) and my momentum is messed up now!

today is friday.

i feel so tired! i have a stiff neck today. i am sleeping using a very thin and flat pillow now because when it is thin and flat my ears do not really hit the pillow even when im sleeping on my side, so that my ears can heal properly. i am also trying to sleep on my back more, getting used to it. but i think this is also the cause of my stiff neck today :(

today is sunday.

I RAN 6KM!!!

ok not the entire 6km but i think i walked less than 200m in total, so it's really not bad!! really needed a lot of mental strength! i am weak, i know many people can run very long distances but personally the longest i ran w/o stopping was 3.4km but this time round i ran at least 5km before i even started walking and i walked for less than 2 min in total! (estimate) so it's very good for my standard!!

haha but esther is better. i am very weak! haha

omg i am sooooo in love with this song shinki! i recently bought kisaki project's eien no yume cds and it had jui-only version of shinki in it (didn't have this song in my folder previously, only had the original version) and i prefer this version so much more than the original version (with the other 2 terrible sounding vocalists, jui only sang the chorus in the original ~.~) but this version goshhhhh it's so nice~~~~ jui's voice is strong and gentle at the same time and i am totally in love with his voice!!! and i also like the rest of the remade songs, normally i don't like songs remade but the newer versions of the kisaki project songs in the cds are pretty good. like them as much as the originals. i love kisaki project (don't fancy kisaki or phantasmagoria, but his kisaki project songs are brilliant).

I AM IN LOVE WITH JUI'S VOICE!!!!!! listening to it is like dying a slow sweet death.

^ hahaha sounds damn funny but that's how i feel. i know it doesn't make much sense, but his voice is so sweet yet he's not singing in front of you but you are dying to hear him live that it's killing you but his voice is so gorgeous and sweet at the same time you can't stop listening to it.


i am so selfish with my scan!! anyway jui is so gorgeous here he used to be so gorgeous in the past!!! he is still gorgeous now but i prefer his past look.

i like this pic of me :D i look so young here!!!


sherlene thinks i look nicest in this very ancient picture of me (more than 3 years back)


hopefully once i have to have black hair again i'll go back to looking like that.

victoria song is so pretty!!


victoria <3