30th dec wasn't as bad as i thought it would be.

on the train on the way to town, i felt like shit. i felt like the worst person in the train, felt very down, felt small, felt useless.

well but for a few reasons, the day turned out pretty good and i cheered up. although i wasted my money on treasure hunter and i still don't understand what the hell the movie was about. it's complete nonsense! (but it was the only movie that fit our time schedule, we had no choice)

i wanna get 3 more piercings. an outer conch, a rook, and an anti-tragus, all for my right ear. will do it once i get my hair/roots done first. $$$$$$$$$$$$. i need $$$$$$$$$$.

i need more self esteem. i feel like a completely useless and lousy person, and i hate my character quite a lot because i am very inconsiderate and rude and horrible towards others. the only thing i like about my character is that i am straightforward and honest and have integrity. other than that, not really.

ok i did a photoshop of my ear, how it would look like if i got the 3 piercings i wanted. now that i look at my photoshop ear, it does kind of look messy. maybe i'll choose micro jewelry so that it doesn't crowd my ear too much.

current right ear:


photoshopped with 3 extra piercings. i love my photoshop!! it looks so real :D:D:D


haha but my 'new ear' looks very crowded and dotty and messy.

and i took pictures of my makeup process! this lenses are one of my most enlarging pairs, so the difference it makes is a lot. most of my lenses don't give me such a big difference in how my eyes look.



in the last picture i took out the lens from my right eye to show a comparison. but my eyes don't show good comparison cuz my uneven eyelids make them look more uneven than they should be. and my eyeshadow is practically invisible. haha.

and no i don't look like that after picture anymore since i hardly wear circle lenses now. i look more like the picture i posted a few post before where my hair was covering half my face.

i can't believe it's already 2010. i remember when i was 14 or 15 i thought 2010 was very far away and i'll never reach my 20s and but see now im gonna be 22 soon. time really flies and i seem to be wasting a lot of it!

i love love love the song on my radio blog. what can be better than a great anime with characters you love? a great anime with characters you love with awesome soundtracks! i love weiss kreuz songs <33333 i wish im as talented as people who write such nice music!

anyway ive borrowed 4 adobe illustrator books from the library more than a month ago and till now ive not even started practising!! i feel so lazy! i wanna practise, but i can't seem to get off my lazy butt to go do it.

school is starting next week. means ive got very little time left to be in a state of being able to do nothing yet not worry about it. as in, if school started and if i did nothing and don't study i would get worried although it doesn't mean i have the motivation to study but at least right now there's a few more days of having completely no worries at all haha.