i type a bit, and everything is gone.

i am so tired.
i hate crowds. i hate crowds to death.
i hate scriptwriters cuz many of them are big blockheads and their dramas always turn out the exact opposite of how i want them to turn out!

on the positive side, my exams are over and i am temporarily free from studying and can hibernate at home. home is the best place to be. my ambition is to be a full time hermit, but that's not possible.

you know, the weirder i look, more and more people approach me. from young kids to old grandmothers, some who give me compliments to those who talk nonsense. apparently i don't look so scary anymore? people used to be scared of me! i thought i had an unfriendly expression plastered on all the time, but i think now most people seem to think otherwise!

but ive been considering going back to looking normal again. normal not so layered dark hair, ok actually other than that i can't think of anything about me that's not normal. but those old days hold the worst memories for me. maybe it'll be better as it'll allow me to fade into the background. i like being in the background, but i hate being undifferentiated. this is contradicting.

im living with many contradictions.

right now im sitting here and feeling bored but i feel so lazy right now i can't be bothered to find something else to do.

i want a white christmas!
i want a white christmas!
i want a white christmas!
white, white, white and full of snow!
a white christmas would be a dream come true!

this song miracle starter really gets me into a snowflakey mood! actually there are quite a few songs out there that get me into a snowflakey mood, but i'll put them up one by one.

it really pisses me off till no end on how some people have completely (maybe not completely, but to me it's bad enough) no integrity!

anyway. right now im in a situation where im dragging on pseudo friendships. im sure everyone will face this kind of situation once in a while. friendships that you don't care about, but are sort of obliged to continue. and the most dreadful moment comes when one person's birthday is looming near. you don't want to go, but if you don't go you feel extremely bad.

i have 2 such pseudo friendships right now. someone just has to be the bad person and make the first move to end it. i hope everything can end well because i am sick and i am sure they are sick of continuing this meaningless game. the dreadful day is coming up next week.

and the same time people you never thought you can talk with can turn out to be the total opposite given the right situation. friends seem to move up and down the different levels friendships you have categorised, consistently, and this is a never ending cycle.

and i don't like another group of people. people who think they know me very well or they keep making assumptions of me. too bad they don't know i am so sick of them. even talking to them in a sarcastic manner doesn't seem to help and there they are thinking they're so smart and witty and i dunno. and they also love to report about me to me! regularly! i don't need any updates on myself!

today is a new day again. i just woke up. it's tuesday!

im not looking forward to the new term.

one of my lessons are gonna be at a new place.

and it's in town! hopefully there won't be many people around town during days i have lessons! but the good thing is that i can shop whenever im there.

anyway i just did a Color Acuity test!

do try it! i have perfect color acuity! (i can tell colours apart perfectly)


it's quite fun! but you must be patient and not rush through it. and make sure you have a good monitor screen that produces colours accurately!

but the test was quite difficult actually! i had problems telling some colours apart sometimes, but i managed to get it all right! :D if i did the test again im not even sure if i can get back a perfect score again. it's that difficult! (this is my one and only time doing this test)

im sure if there was a tonal acuity test for music, i'd get a perfect score! my ears absolutely cannt stand just the slightest bit of dissonance (as in when it's not supposed to be there. music with dissonance on purpose are ok with me) or when anything goes just slightly out of tune. my ears are better at telling tones than my eyes are at telling hues, actually. but it seems that my eyes are already perfect :D:D