i am so tired right now. i have been very tired the past few days.

i don't know why, but as i grow older it seems i have been getting really tired, and am easily exhausted.

i will join mensa probably next month. i sent them an email to ask if they accepted my old score (took it way back in sept 03), and they said i could rely on it to join. i wonder what are the benefits of joining mensa. i'll join and see i guess.

seriously i wonder what does very high IQ actually do, i think a normal IQ of say 130 would suffice for most people for everyday, for schoolwork, or workplace skills. for those who know my actual IQ score, it's higher, but i don't necessarily do well in school tests (in fact im pretty weak in some subjects), sometimes i can be extremely unreasonable, sometimes i seem to have a complete lack of common sense. it's like in real life my intelligence doesn't seem more than an average person. sometimes i'm just dumb and do stupid stuff and say silly things. argh.

if i had my way i rather be musically talented and be able to compose tons of stuff and play the guitar. i would be a better person, kinder and have more compassion and be less hot headed.

today is 5th april.

ive been thinking a lot these few days.

my mind is just revolving around the unfairness in this world.

like i said previously, i consider myself lucky.

at the same time, it's making me feel horrible and i cannot do things i can do less privileged people cannot without feeling guilty and i know it's not my fault im born in a lucky situation but thought of the amount of suffering others are going through just keeps playing in my mind again and again.

today the papers had an article about CEOs around the world, and for the american CEO, they're paid for failures.

how did this whole recession come about? selfish short term gains. huge profits are earned , it made the performance of all those smart idiots (smart cuz they know how to earn money for themselves, idiots cuz they are big fat idiots) seem outstanding and they earn big fat bonuses. all these at the expense of long term goals and gains. ultimately, creating something out of nothing and making huge bucks out of it is soon gonna spiral out of control and please no one can say they didn't see this day coming. and they just collect their bonuses and run away.

leaving the rest of the world messed up, making people lose their jobs, their roofs over their heads, making them worry when their next meal will be, worrying if they can pay for their children's education. i hate the way how some people have completely no compassion for others and don't have any conscience.

april 7th

i love my violet lens!


BUT! the right side has expanded and gone out of shape! (not out of shape, but it's bigger than the left side x.x) so now i cannot wear it anymore :( i don't know why, i wanted to wear it yesterday and when i looked into the mirror my eyes were like o.O ahhhhhh i don't know if i should buy this lens again, the other colours are fine though i wear them more often, and there are other lenses i wanna buy for the moment, so i think i have to put these aside for a while :(

and i still love my grey lens


my other violet lens


and im so happy i look decent w/o circle lens and w/o makeup


it looks like this picture i took last year


i have uploaded this song from proposal daisakusen (can't remember if it's spelled this way) it's so nice!! it's those songs you listen to when you're sad and you'll feel better. ahhh i really liked the show!! except that i think that actress of the main girl character didn't act well x.x she kept acting cute and it just made me irritated.