» 8:36 pm
                    »

here’s an interesting fact i learnt from bbc 2 days ago: termites are not ants, they are cockroaches!

urgh. ewwwww. i hate cockroaches. i know i am a bad human and i have invaded their space and they are actually the natural inhabitants in the places we live in but humans treat all other living beings as pests, but i cannot help but hate cockroaches!

~10 May 2012~

we have finally switched to fibre broadband! :D i have been using adsl for years and it was extremely unreliable! it often disconnected for no reason and gave problems.

fibre seems good so far! it’s seems faster (pages load faster, i don’t think it’s my imagination), and i hope there will be none of the downtime that adsl always had ~.~

i drew a new picture on tuesday!

im pretty happy with it except i do not know how to get the eyes to align properly. somehow it looks like both eyes are looking in different directions.

i love talk talk talk by darren hayes! he is a wonderful musician! i don’t like his voice, but i love his singing a lot! it doesn’t seem to make sense, but his singing is so soothing and pleasant although his voice is pretty flat and weird. if someone else sang with that voice i think i would have disliked it, but darren hayes’ singing style makes his not so nice voice sound very sweet.

i want this phone U___U

it will be released in japan in summer. i do hope it gets an international release too!! it is soooooo pretty, i only have 2 things i want in a phone, good looks and a charm hole. this phone has both! all other specifications are secondary. am supposed to buy a new phone soon, but i think im changing my mind, im gonna wait for this one. and it better be released out of japan ~.~ i love the white colour and the copper lines, so so so so pretty!!!!

                    » 4:28 pm
                    »

my life really sucks.

sometimes you can try very hard and things just don’t work out. very often the obstacles are man made and can be resolved yet it won’t because of stubborness, because of emotions, bias, resistance to change, and all sorts of other human behaviour.

people don’t act according to logic. the mind’s complexity causes it to close itself and shut logic out, making situations and things difficult for everyone.

if people were easier with their emotions, don’t take them to be the absolute truth, life would be easier for themselves and everyone around them.

but when you yourself get into a position where you can influence the outcome of others, remember this and don’t commit the same mistake. or you’ll only become someone no better than the people who messed your life up.

maybe it’s cuz im not good at human relationships that’s why i feel this way. people who are good at interacting with others might think otherwise.

but i can’t be not myself. i don’t like to hide undesirable facts using honeyed words, say only half of the truth which could be as misleading as a lie, beat around the bush, using too much formalities. on the other hand, i need to improve the way i treat people around me, be less selfish, be more patient, get angry less often, learn to let trivial things go and be able to value relationships rather than than my own ego of having to be right all the time even if you are right, be more forgiving.

^ that was written on 17 april. today it’s 23 april!

home is good, weekend is good, it makes me forget about weekday unhappiness! i feel like im travelling between 2 different worlds, the weekday world and the weekend world.

^ now today is 26 april!

im gonna start making my own solid perfume soon! :D i bought 2 bottles of essential oil today, rose otto and bergamot. rose otto is damn bloody expensive x 100000! aish it hit my wallet pretty badly but rose is one of the nicest scents around, i gotta use it very sparingly. next time i will buy rose absolute online instead. then i bought vanilla, lemon, grapefruit and oregano essential oils together with beeswax and grapeseed oil from Mountain Rose Herbs just now, once it arrives i’ll start making my own perfume :DDD aish making perfume is an expensive hobby! i must be going crazy. this means no other purchases for at least a month!

and im still saving up for a zoom lens for my nex5n.

i need a cheaper hobby!

who wants solid perfume? cuz i bought quite a bit of beeswax.

                    » 5:17 pm
                    » ajitsuke eggs

i have been attempting to make ajitsuke eggs.

they are the boiled eggs you find in your bowl of ramen. the one with a half cooked yolk.

my first attempt was undercooked. and since i only used 1cm tall of water and didn’t turn my eggs, the lower 2/3 of my eggs were cooked and the top 1/3 was uncooked.

my second attempt the eggs were overcooked. the yolk was about 95% cooked. no runny yolk at all. ahh you cannot trust the timing stated in online recipes.

today, my third attempt is finally successful! :D:D so happy.

after peeling

i don’t like peeling eggs. they are hard to peel! will try the prick the egg trick in future to see if it helps in the peeling. you can see tons dents in the egg due to my horrible peeling, my nails didn’t dig into the egg at all, but the egg white kept on sticking to the shell and coming off with it :(

see! my yolks came out perfect :D

a closer look

yay~ im so happy. how i cooked them: put cold eggs in a pot, fill it with water until it covers half of the eggs, bring the water to a boil (the water must boil, not just simmer and bubble), then lower the fire so the water reduces to a simmer and immediately start the timing. cook them for 2 min, then turn them over (to cook the top part) and cook for another 2 min, then switch the fire off and let the eggs sit in the water for another 2 min 15 seconds, then you put the eggs into cold water immediately.

anyway i cooked 3 eggs each time. the 2 other successful eggs are right now soaking in water+shoyu+mirin mixture will try them after a few hours of soaking.

probably will not work for another person either, the way the online recipes didn’t work for me.

i bought a leather wristlet last week.

i would prefer it not to be a butterfly though, i do not like butterflies, but there are no other designs.

anyway i read that zinc is good for acne and have been eating it for over 2 weeks. my face seems less oily now and i have stopped applying clindamycin on my skin and no new zits are coming out so all’s good :) hope it stays that way! even if your skin is perfect it’s good to eat zinc cuz it improves your immune system and is good for your liver.

anyway i made a purchase on google play. i bought this live wallpaper sweet tree.

IT IS SOOOOOO PRETTY!

love it love it love it and it’s only a few dollars. and once i get my new phone i can download it on my new phone too so it’s not gonna go away after i change my phone. soooo pretty! it is not shown in the video but you can also change the girl’s hair colour and her dress.

also gotten this cuz it was on discount, it was only 1.50!

but this doesn’t look good on my small screen, will use it when i get my new phone :D hopefully in may. uistore.net really makes the prettiest wallpapers!

                    » 9:07 pm
                    » sparkle sparkle

hello!
this is the first post im posting in a long time! actually there are quite a few posts in between, but they’re all very negative and never published. my life isn’t any more positive right now, but there are finally some more cheerful stuff for me to write about.

my anatometal jewelry came! :D this is my aurora navel curve. don’t have navel piercing, but im wearing it in my ear!

it is soooo pretty! the flower is something i already had, i had another flower that came along with the curve but im putting it aside for the moment. it is so sparkly!

and i’d be getting a new phone soon, am thinking of blinging the back, tried out this design on paper first (a design i blatantly copied off a googled image ;p)

the whole design is very small, only about 3.5cm across, but this picture is way magnified.

but i went on to add another crystal in each petal, i think it looks nicer now? so now it’s not a blatant copy anymore :D

can’t wait to get my new phone and decorate it~

other than that my life is as miserable as ever. although people i mix with around recently think i am cheerful and playful and noisy. which is completely the opposite of what i actually feel. i feel completely depressed almost all the time.

recently i have been listening to a lot of shounen t covers! he hasn’t the most pleasant voice around, it’s pretty flat and high, but his song rearrangements are totally wonderful to listen to. being able to play the guitar is a wonderful thing, wish i knew how to play :( soon soon soon i will get off my lazy butt and learn. i really love the song step to you!

this is the reason why there are no pictures of myself posted in past few months.

17 of february. this after the worse period of my skin. for some unknown reason i broke out way badly in november last year on my right cheek. my left cheek is still pretty clear. by january the breakout almost stopped but marks for me take a really long time to clear. then in late february my forehead broke out (somehow i break out each time i do audit fieldwork for this particular client! ~.~ but they are nice and i am not stressed and the environment is not dirty, i have no idea). but at least for my forehead i have my fringe to cover it for me. my cheek, i don’t use any face makeup and it was terrible looking.

my left cheek is the only part of my face that has remained clear all these while, except for an occasional pimple.

this is on 11 march

improved a little.

this is today (after i wore my new ear jewelry :D) but i blacked out my eyes cuz i look pretty shitty.

my marks have faded considerably these past 2 weeks, i hope they continue to do so! and i hope i will have no more new breakouts. my breakouts don’t last long, but when they come a lot of pimples pop up and they leave crazy long lasting marks :(

                    » 11:47 pm
                    »

i am 70 cups of coffee away from freedom.

i look at others and everyone around me seems so impressive. they don’t seem to bend under pressure, they always seem to be cheerful, capable, competent, even when i hear horror stories about anyone they don’t ever seem to get into trouble.

but i am just fumbling around, lacking in a lot of areas, need a lot of personal space and time, need to rant a lot, people have to suffer when they listen to my endless ranting.

my head hurts, my head is tired, it feels like it’s in the clouds, it is floating and cannot feel the ground and cannot think.

why am i here?

i shouldn’t be here.

but there isn’t a way to get out of here without pain.

honestly im going crazy.

everyday i see less and less meaning in my life, not that it has any meaning to start out with anyway.

i wish that when i donate blood i can just donate all my blood away, i don’t need it, other people need it more, then i’ll just fall into a nice slumber.

                    » 10:05 pm
                    » down

my life right now is wrong in every single way possible.

im pretty much in deep shit and i don’t know how to get out.

i feel very frightened and lost.

and i only have myself to blame for my predicament.

i wish i know what is the next step to take. the road ahead looks scary.

                    » 7:35 pm
                    »

i gotten a new silk quilt yesterday! silk sounds luxurious! cuz my mom wanted me to throw away my old quilt yesterday, it’s been with me since i was 6 or 7 i think, so many many years!!! i feel sad to have to part with my old quilt, it’s the first quilt i ever had and i tend to like to hoard things and feel sentimental over things. but my mom is forcing me to throw it away so i cut out a bit of it for keepsake.

here’s a picture i took with it before it goes

(urgh you can tell how bad my skin is right now ~.~)

the blue border of my quilt is sewn on by my grandma cuz a few years ago the border of the quilt was getting too tattered. you can see how tattered my quilt is at the bottom part.

i hope my new quilt can last longer than this one!!! i don’t like to throw things away! but my new quilt is super comfortable!!! (my old quilt was too, but i was worried i can’t find something that replaces it, but this does a very good job!)

im having a stiff neck now. it was all ok yesterday till i washed my hair cuz i press my head down when i wash my hair and suddenly i felt the right bottom part of my neck go stiff ~.~ now it’s still stiff ~.~

                    » 10:59 pm
                    » COCONUT! <3

today’s post are about coconuts!

picture from wikipedia

(from dictionary.com)
coconut [koh-kuh-nuht, -nuht]

noun
1. the large, hard-shelled seed of the coconut palm, lined with a white edible meat, and containing a milky liquid.
2. the meat of the coconut, often shredded and used in cooking, as a flavoring, and as a dessert topping.
3. coconut palm.
4. yujun’s favourite fruit

hehe.

had a whole coconut to myself yesterday and i love love love coconuts! (i keep on mispelling it as coconute i don’t know why my finger keeps on hitting e) i love coconut juice and coconut meat! coconuts are a little on the fatty side, but they are healthy and nutritious! coconut juice is 99% fat free, it is low in sugars, and is high in potassium! it is a good replacement for your sports drink, and is even used for intravenous hydration fluid (aka drips) cuz it mixes very well into blood and has nutrients the blood needs!

as for coconut meat, a lot of people will start talking bad about it, but the kind of saturated oil in it is actually good for you! from http://www.coconutwaterlife.com/coconut-meat

“Coconuts have long been thought of as potentially unhealthy due to its high level of saturated fat. However, coconut oil is different than 98% of all saturated fats out there due the fact that it is a MCFA (medium chain fatty acids), as opposed to long chain fatty acid (LCFA). LCFA’s traditionally found in eggs, meat, milk and other plants have long been a source of cholesterol and have had a negative effect against heart disease and heart health. Since the oil in coconuts are a MCFA, it does not have the same negative effects on cholesterol that the long chains do. In fact the acids contained in coconuts helps lower the risks of atherosclerosis and heart disease.”

of cuz too much fat is also bad for you as it is calorific, but as long as it is taken in moderate amounts, coconut fat is actually a good fat, not a bad one!

and coconut oil is one of the very few oils that can actually penetrate your hair, unlike all your artificial hair serums and other types of oils that just coat your hair. coconut oil repairs your hair from inside!

coconut oil (but avoid refined coconut oil!) is also anti microbial and can be good for acne (but as everyone’s skin is different, you gotta test it out first, it may break some people out, but it helps fight acne for others). i wanna go buy a bottle to try it out! even if it doesn’t work for my skin type, it’ll be good for my hair!

and best of all they are super yummy!

ich liebe kokonuss! :D

coconut chocolate, coconut ice cream, coconut curry, you name it, i love it!

                    » 12:26 am
                    »

it’s december! :D

as usual, i dream of a white christmas! it’s unlikely to happen, but dreaming is good :) the weather will be cold, there will be soft fluffy snow and christmas trees and snowmen all around :)

just received an email from mensa for christmas dinner. i have not renewed my membership for about 3 or 4 years already. they probably want to collect more membership fees. but honestly i didn’t see anything good from joining mensa as a member. but i guess it’s good if you wanna do some networking cuz they have networking lunches every month.

december is a good month so i will be positive this month and there will be no negative thoughts inside my head.

and my skin seems to be clearing up quite a bit from the very bad breakout i had a few weeks ago. it was really bad! now you know why i have not posted any picture in quite some time cuz bad skin + good camera is a very bad combination. i have been resisting the urge to pick at my skin and it seems to be helping.

and im aiming for a healthier lifestyle. i have been trying to sleep by midnight every weekday, cutting down on my meat consumption, eating more vegetables (but compared to the average person i already eat a lot of vegetables, but i don’t really take fruits). and i donated blood for the 3rd time on thursday :D it was the first time i donated with my left arm, my left arm didn’t have much energy to squeeze the ball. and my blood flowed very slowly, others took about 15 minutes to fill a bag up, it took me like 25 minutes :(

also had my second jab of gardasil on friday. it hurts. donating blood doesn’t hurt as much! gardasil is painful >(

and i also bought clarisonic off amazon last week and i wish it’ll come here faster!!! the estimated time of arrival is 20th december which is so far away :(

and i don’t wanna go for company dinner and dance.

sometimes i feel that god is looking down and is amused at seeing me mess my little life up. and throwing me into situations which i don’t seem to handle very well. ah i need to know how to control my life a little better.

miginiusetu’s voice is very cute!

                    » 11:09 pm
                    »

i need a miracle.

i need a miracle.

i need a miracle.

doesn’t matter what it is, as long it’s a miracle. whatever that can make my pathetic little life better, is good enough.

and i need to become less of a spendthrift. i have been spending too much recently.

and there are so many things i wanna say but i can’t say out here cuz people who stumble on my blog might get offended. i have low tolerance for a lot of things and think negatively about a lot of things. ah. the purpose of me writing here is disappearing. my thoughts fill up fast, yet there is nowhere i can vent them out.

i love himawari’s voice! it’s not often i like a girl’s voice, but her voice is nice! i love sainou sampler.

i still need a miracle. i am praying for one every single day.

                    » 10:50 pm
                    »

my mind plays little cruel tricks on me, it loves to take me on roller coaster rides and makes mockery out of me.

i need a shut down button.

why don’t i have a shut down button?

maybe many people would overuse it if they have one. i definitely would use it!

i feel like there’s a blackhole of sadness in my stomach. it’s force is getting stronger everyday.

                    » 1:08 am
                    »

what we are today is a result of our memories. our past shapes us. but a large part of my young past isn’t real.

i have vivid memories of my nursery school, and my mom’s red car outside the nursery, waiting to pick us up. except that my mom doesn’t drive, and my family never had a bright red car (the car we have now is a dark red, the car in my memory is a bright red beetle like car).

also, i would get frightened every night as i kept on thinking about wolves loitering on the ground floor of our flat.

i do not know why i have these memories, they weren’t dreams, but they never existed either.

i ever read a news article before that we could create memories out of nothing, and genuinely believe in it. we collect memories everyday, sometimes it’s too much for us to process, we tend to mix things up a bit, associate different memories with each other, what you thought you remembered may not be real. don’t trust your memories too much. it might just be lying to you.

this is my new top, isn’t it cute!

im getting so sick of life. every day that i live on a bit more of my carefreeness gets taken away.

                    » 12:25 am
                    »

i want a lamp with a genie that can grant my wishes.

nevermind, i know god is listening to my wishes. and genies do not exist. even if they did, you’ll probably have to sell your soul.

i met an old classmate today! she used to be super cute, but she isn’t as cute anymore :( no, it’s not her age or her looks, it’s only that she left her fringe to grow long :( she looks so cute with fringe. i tend to make good friends with people out of my clique, somehow a lot of times i don’t seem to be able to communicate as well with people in my clique compared to a few friends i have out of my clique.

it’s like you tend to stick to the same group you were with right from the beginning. and then you start talking to others and realise you can talk way more with others, but nothing changes. the cliques remain the same. the people you go lunch with remain the same. the people you go out with remain the same. the same people you can’t really communicate with (at least in my case).

but it’s not like you can form a new group easily, those people are already part of another group. there is resistance to change.

and add in office politics. your own group members may not have that great of an impression of these people. if you start mixing too much with them, maybe you’ll end up being seen as two faced.

aish.
aish.
aish.

life isn’t complicated, but we make it so.

                    » 8:09 pm
                    »

clingy people who need someone around in every activity they do, whether is it going to the toilet, going home, going out to buy something, ah they are so clingy and it gets on my nerves!!! be more independent! there is nothing wrong with going to the toilet alone, nothing wrong with going home alone, nothing wrong to go out and buy something alone! in fact i really do not like going to toilet with friends, i rather go alone cuz i think going to toilet is something very awkward to me and i rather go alone then feel awkward with someone else around. and i also take some time to preen myself in the mirror, i do not fancy preening in front of people i know.

i hate arrogant managers. i hate managers who insist on a completely silent workplace. already one room is so bloody silent at least let the other room have some sound for people who work best with a bit of noise! i hate managers who think they know best. haven’t they been kids, been assistants, made mistakes before? now they think the whole world owes them something. and don’t give any respect to subordinates.

why does the world have so many shitty people?????? i wish they can just fall into their own shit and drown urghhhhhh.

i am a long weekend this weekend, i am so happy. 5 days straight with no work, this is starting to seem really foreign to me!

i am not against work. but when there are crazy policies in place which create artificial problems and make life hell for everyone, working isn’t enjoyable. and when the top management wants to remain rigid, there is nothing you can do. (except quit. and in my case i still can’t.)

granted, some people here are really nice. well, they’re the reason i have not gone crazy yet.

but i am getting sick of some of their traits!

urgh.

im so gonna die should any of my colleagues stumble upon this.

                    » 12:40 am
                    » no logic

isn’t jui so goodlooking?

he is drop dead goodlooking.

i had to post these pictures up! haha. credits to Juicy Diary.

i wonder if he’ll ever recover his original voice fully.

i love the song No Logic on singingbox! (soraru’s voice is crazy gorgeous) and i love it’s lyrics! we should all live our lives like the lyrics, i wish i could and be content!

Isn’t this basically good enough?
Isn’t it fine being adequate?
Why not allow a little suspense?
Why not lead a fun life?

“Choose what you want, discard what you don’t need”
For everyone to have the same thought,
That’s impossible, right?

credits to vgperson and vocalochu

sometimes i don’t wish to think anymore, just lead life where it leads me to, only if i can just let go of my worries and be myself without a care for the rest of the world.

it isn’t easy.