» 5:27 pm
» henna

i did henna yesterday!

it’s so pretty!

freshly done

and right after peeling it off

and today

i love it, hope it can last as long as possible!

video of my henna

» 2:24 am
» pictures

i am just so tired today.

going out day after day is just so tiring and tomorrow im still bringing my slovak friend and her friend around and seriously i am shagged.

and it’s 2:25am right now and tomorrow i have to wake up at 7 and my hair is still not dry and i can’t sleep and i am suffering from a lack of sleep due to late nights and a current inability to sleep very well.

and arghhhh i don’t know how to be interesting tomorrow i hope they aren’t bored with me cuz i talk very little! why can some people talk and talk and talk non stop while im desperately finding things to say!

i just wanna sleep at home. i don’t wanna go out. it’s good to meet old friends but im really too tired. and at home i don’t have to think of what to say to make people less bored.

and right now my feet hurt walking in my new shoes trying to break into them. i have blisters on every toe and the right and left of my feet :( but they have not broken so they are just sore and not really painful.

i like this picture from julia’s camera but i probably look good in it only cuz it’s very dark and blurry. haha.

today is tuesday.

im aching all over. my shoulders and especially my feet. i can’t even walk properly now cuz my feet feel painful. one of the bones in my left foot feels a little twisted.

with janet, dinner yesterday. she is soooo cute and pretty. i think if i were a guy i would have liked her haha. she is charming in her own way!

with barbora’s fruits. after a while weishi put it into my bag and it leaked and my stuff got some juice on them and my shiseido blotting paper from japan is destroyed :s

barbora is on far right, her friend domimika is in the middle. i know barbora from the exchange in germany. she’s a slovak, not german though. she was also on exchange!

me & barbora

me & weishi, she is soooo lame. haha. anyway she has very straight teeth and decided to do braces. too much money and tolerance for pain i think.

dinner on saturday.

yesterday

at the beach! not good for heels

with barbora at the skypark.

being a tour guide is pretty tough.

fujiki naohito is so damn goodlooking in this photo.
ah. i think his wife is so lucky.

» 12:59 am
» i loveee hotaru no hikari

i just finished watching hotaru no hikari season 1.

ahhhh. i am a himono onna too. except that when hotaru is at home she is cute, i am not. my boring himono onna life. soon i’ll be dried up too :( anyway hotaru is sooooo cute. the buchou is sooooo cute too!! i didn’t like fujiki naohito’s character in proposal daisakusen, but buchou is just so so so so so cute x 10000000!

my brother had spread his flu to me. urgh. my nose has been running all day long and i am praying i don’t wake up with a sore throat tomorrow i totally hate sore throats!

ahh. im watching drama after drama. im also watching a drama called jin, but it is so saddening i don’t feel like watching it at the moment when i don’t feel like feeling sad.

today is friday!

just watched the first episode of hotaru no hikari season 2~~ have to wait till the subs of the second episode is out~~

im so happy i didn’t wake up with a sore throat today! but the stuff coming out of my nose is getting worse :s

ahhh what should i do now.

i hate the weather! ok it’s cool but humid. i guess better than being both hot and humid.

i want to be well and healthy again.

right now my ears are not hearing properly due to my excessive blowing of nose.

i sound gross. haha.

i wanna drink chicken essence. i think it will strengthen me up. i love chicken essence. i know a lot of people hate it. but i love it! mmm!

i think i am obsessed with fujiki naohito. but after i finish hotaru no hikari season 2 my obsession will be over haha. i only have one permanent obsession, jui :D

img from wiki d-addicts

i wore my 12cm clogs today for half a day :D so happy~ although i almost fell a few times haha. i need more practice.

my slovak friend is coming tomorrow :D it’s 3 years since i last saw her :D

today is saturday!

i still don’t have a sore throat! im so happy! not being able to sleep well has it advantages! you’re probably wondering what sleeping well has to do with sore throats but i will spare you the gross details.

i love my friend’s camera! cuz i look good in the pictures :D:D haha. i don’t look as good with my own camera.

and sherlene helped me take this pic with my own camera

i guess it’s alright, but not as nice as my friend’s camera

and at home!

yay :D hotaru no hikari ep 2 subs are out :D byebye~ im gonna watch it, i love it so much!

» 10:30 pm
»

i love vidoll i love vidoll i love vidoll i love vidoll i love vidoll i love vidoll i love vidoll i love vidoll i love vidoll

ahhhhhhh no words can fully express how much i love vidoll!

vidoll songs are so amazing! i can listen to dreamboat and beautiful minors again and again and again and never get sick of them!

found this behind the scenes making of their album esoteric romance. ahhhhh~ i am on full fangirl mode now.

24th july. come quickly~ i neeeeed my vidoll concert tickets! not want, but NEEEED BADLY.

this is my dream concert tracklist (not in any order, cuz i don’t know how they arrange songs)

1. dreamboat
2. beautiful minors (high doubt they’ll do this song though)
3. memories
4. eirene
5. tree
6. cryptic tokyo
7. nevaeH
8. kichigai tv
9. toumei nakago
10. peko-crash-trap
11. hiiragi no sou (one song they hardly perform live?)
12. san ga koronda
13. gyaku gire
14. heiwa no uta
15. darwinism
16. tsuki no jukai no calendar
17. togaru ai
18. at age 13

some of the above mentioned songs i think there’s a very slim chance of them performing cuz they either hardly perform those songs live or they’re very old vidoll songs. ah anything but not songs like hot cage mix or cokeheads. how do you even come up with ‘hot cage mix’ for a song title??

i saw the vrock live concert on youtube just now and jui sounded wayyy out of tune :( i hope his throat recovers! it’s scary!

ah, today is tuesday. and i have not published this post!

i just finished watching my boss my hero T_____T it’s sooooo nice T_____T i feel like crying when i was watching it.

i really wanna write something but ive got nothing to say. i wanna wear my new black clogs, they’re so pretty. and very very high.

» 11:55 pm
»

i have romanised Lovers by Art School today! this song is slightly harder to romanise than i hate myself, but not as bad as kisaki project lyrics. haha.

ＡＲＴＳＣＨＯＯＬ　「ＬＯＶＥＲＳ」

Nani hitotsu kanawazu ni nani hitotsu kanawazu ni
Nani hitotsu kanawazu ni nani hitotsu kanawazu ni

(1) 理由 is riyuu, but wake is an alternative pronunciation (well I didn’t know until this song, I was searching for the pronunciation cuz I could only find riyuu, but in the end I typed ‘wake’ and found that in certain cases 理由 is wake)
(2) 惑星 is wakusei but riki sings it as 星 hoshi

生きてる意味も死ぬ理由も
何処にも無いから生きてきた
もうどうでもいいけど、こんな日は
全てが夢のような気がして、ただ

何一つかなわずに　何一つかなわずに
何一つかなわずに　何一つかなわずに

my 2nd favourite band lolita23ku has a new vocalist soshi after sou left. i am just very glad they did not break up! their newest album sounds not bad! it also helps that soshi’s voice is quite similar to sou, cuz i think that vocals are the most distinctive sound a band has. if it’s too different it will make me feel like another band is performing the songs, even if the music is of the same style. think i will buy the new album when im japan. when im japan im gonna buy vidoll concert dvds that i do not currently own. i am gonna be broke! and i still intend to buy my vivienne westwood wallet over there. hopefully there’ll be cheaper and pretty stuff in the vivienne westwood outlet store!

yayyy tomorrow im gonna receive my black clogs! :D i hope they are comfortable, i wanna train myself to be able to wear high heels for an entire day!

right now it’s 11:45pm. just now i ran 10 rounds lane 6 again. but today when i was jogging my 4th or 5th round i was feeling so tired already. and i was dragging myself till the 10th round. i just feel horrible today, as if i have lost all my stamina. by the 8th or 9th round i feel like something was gonna come out of my throat and was trying to keep it down. thank goodness i didn’t vomit. i just hope the next time i run my stamina is back to normal.

gooo germany. i want germany to win the world cup. im a germanophile, i know :( but i love germany. ICH LIEBE DEUTSCHLAND!

» 11:55 pm
» i don’t hate myself today :)

“yujun applies eyeliner with great dexterity, while tianyi applies it maladroitly.”

oh my god. this sentence makes me squirm. haha. no i wasn’t the one who created this sentence hahaha.

hahahaha i need to go memorise my cantonese songs lyrics, they are so fun to sing!!! then i was trying to sing to SS501’s love like this and then i was like “HEY GIRL ……. …….. ……. ……. ……. …… WON’T YOU MY GIRL …. … …. …. ….. …. …..”

hahahahahahaha.

and my friend says i am funny and cute. i am so touched, i thought she and everyone else would find me boring cuz i am a boring person. i don’t know how others can joke and talk and laugh all the time cuz for my most of the time ive got nothing to say :(

hey sherlene my guy friend thought this picture is very pretty!!

he also said that drop dead gorgeous picture is pretty kkkkkk. jui makes straight guys question their straightness!

i have romanised the lyrics to art school’s i hate myself! gosh it is sooo easy to romanise compared to kisaki project lyrics :D partially cuz all the kanji was already typed out on a lyrics site, and not like kisaki project lyrics where i have to type them out myself from scans. haha.

I Hate Myself
lyrics & music by riki kinoshita

君もあんな美しい人の仲間かい
この僕はその中に入れるだろうか
太陽に永遠が溶けたときに俺を殺してくれ

ahhh i wanna pass my exams so i can start working, i am so broke now and there’s soooooo many things i wanna buy! :(

» 12:41 am
»

haha im talking with tianny now.

ive got excessive paranoia. when i grow up i really want to earn enough to hire a bodyguard. i am extremely worried for my own safety x.x haha i don’t think i’ll ever earn enough to afford one though. i want 2, a female one to be close to me, and a male one at the back. haha i am crazy, but if i had the money i will really hire!

i finally found out what are the things under my eye called! it’s xanthelasma! i think ive had them for about 10 years now, ever since i was 11 or 12. i still think my friend who sat behind me in class passed it to me. before i sat in front of her i didn’t have this problem, but she does. and after i sat in front of her i developed all those fatty deposits under my eye. haha bad theory, but the timing is too coincidental x.x

after i came back from school today. my eyes are so bright and sparkly today! matches my bright hair ☆

haha i shall show you a zoomed in version of my lower eyelids to show you my xanthelasma. don’t have a good enough camera to capture it properly haha.

and my pretty nails!!

pretty gradation colour! from pink to purple! i paint my nails so well!

actually not. haha. my nails are painted pale pink. the purple part is just stained by my hair dye when i wash my hair haha. but the effect turns out so pretty! my mom bought the glitter polish for me.

i ran 10 rounds on lane 6 today :D 4.35km :D

» 11:45 pm
» HAPPY BIRTHDAY JUI!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JUI!

today is jui’s birthday! it may seem to be still 29th june on my post date, but it’s past midnight in japan so it’s already jui’s birthday! :D

this is jui’s pigg room right now

but we’re missing our birthday star right now! :(

this will be a jui picture post! let’s spread jui love all around!

boo

soooo pretty

jui is so cute here, but it’s sad he has to rely on that inhaler, i hope he gets well soon!

bare faced. he looks 1000000x better than my own bare face.

sooooo cute!! he looks like one of those teru teru bozu dolls

jui needs to eat more. anyway i think his fashion sense has been influenced by ayukawa you (ayuP)

drop dead gorgeous

AHHHHHHHHH~

PRETTYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

cute pose~

handsome jui

may jui have a nice and wonderful birthday and have a healthy and happy life! ☆

p.s. i finally parked successfully on the first attempt on monday! so happy!!!!

» 1:56 pm
»

i really love the song i hate myself by art school.

i don’t know what the lyrics of the song mean, but listening to it makes me hate myself less.

i seem confident to a lot of people, i don’t know why.

but they don’t see the side of me that hates myself a lot.

my character is extremely flawed, i feel inferior looks wise when i see people who are so pretty naturally without any makeup (i feel so damn fake even though my makeup looks natural to most people, it looks very natural i know but see me without and you’ll realise how big the difference is), and right now i am being kept in suspense while waiting for the results of my disasterous exams and i seriously feel like complete shit.

i see people who are hardworking, dare to strive for their dreams, being able to find the way to work towards their dreams, their perseverance and i feel like im completely useless and hopeless.

i look at people who can go through their difficult lives with a constant smile on their face, while here i am sulking so much and showing so much hate towards so many things. i am unappreciative and ungrateful.

//saturday//

i ran today :D i am so happy, i don’t hate running like i did in the past. in fact when i run i am happy cuz it gives me this false feeling that i’ll lose weight sooner or later (not that i do but haha) cuz i need to lose some weight because i am as heavy as jui now and he is 9cm taller than me!!!! it’s jui’s birthday in 4 days time :D and he has been posting pictures of birthday cakes on his blog!

he is so damn gorgeous i think god must love him a lot. he is blessed with a gorgeous voice, a gift in singing, an ability to compose some of the nicest songs around and write lyrics, crazy good looks, tons of charisma. and he seems to be a very nice person too (i hope he is a very nice person in real life). i cannot imagine anyone not liking such a lovely person like jui.

to be honest, i used to be upset when vidoll went major and gotten many new fans and changed their music direction. but somehow now i am not. right now i am happy that they have expanded their fanbase, it’s good for more people to get to hear jui’s voice and it’s also good for vidoll members and their careers. i just hope all vidoll members can lead a happy and healthy and fulfilling life and be able to do what they wish to do and achieve what they want. same goes for ex-vidoll guitarist hide. i miss hide! hide will forever be THE vidoll guitarist to me!

//sunday//

so im sleepy. my eyes can shut any moment.

» 11:41 pm
» yay!

do some people really have no conscious?

my brother told me that north korea had been beaten by portugal 7-0. it is shocking. but that’s not the point. cuz he said that the players might be sent to coal mines when they go home. he said the previous time the NK dear leader wasn’t happy with their performance, the players at that point of time were sent to coal mines.

i wonder if the portugal players knew about this would they have held back a little? while it’s not their fault and they have totally no obligation to be kind of north korea in the game, just imagine that you’re sending these poor players to hell.

it’s not whether you’re right or wrong, and you are not responsible for their lives, yet knowing your actions bring them such a great misfortune, would you do it?

(of course i am not implying that portugal knows this. i am just having a hypothesis.)

i am naive but i still cannot understand how can people harm others without blinking an eyelid. i probably repeated this for the hundredth time, but how how how??? how can they do such a thing?

my mom’s friend came to our home on sunday. he had a business associate in the past who had taken a liking to him. then my mom’s friend got to know after a while that his business associate was someone who had no consideration for human lives (his business associate was in some sea rig business or something similar to that i can’t remember, those with a high fatality rate), as long as it’s profitable to his business, human lives are dispensible.

now comes the tough part. you didn’t do anything wrong, but this business associate gives you a lot of business contacts and business, it’s a substantial amount. would you continue your business relationship with this person? remember, you didn’t do anything wrong.

my mom’s friend stopped his relationship with that associate.

i think it takes a lot of courage and strength to do so in this case. if a person will end up facing financial difficulties and yet they can break off this important source of business, then i really respect them. if i ever have to face such a situation, i hope that i have the strength to stick to my beliefs.

anyway this is nonsense. i don’t like to follow trends, but right now i am in love with clogs and they are the trend right now :( i would have loved them even if they’re not the trend right now, but it is because it is the trend right now that i got to know clogs :( obviously i am so stuck in my own little world i didn’t know that fashion clogs existed, the only clogs i knew existed were those wooden boatlike clogs the dutch wore :s i need to learn to wear crazy high heels! but i still hate stilettos.

//thursday//

ahhh!! i got cheap white clogs today :D so happy :D ok they’re not cheap but so much cheaper than those USD 125 pairs you see online haha.

pretty, pretty!

anyway i love looking at pretty people!!! ahhh some people are just soooooo pretty! but it embarassing if they catch me staring at them haha.

» 10:09 pm
» new dyed hair

image heavy post. dyed my hair on friday. bleached it in the morning, then washed the bleach out, blew my hair dry, then applied the dye and left it on from 2.30pm till about 9.30pm.

old hair

bleach my hair. yellow roots. changed to a black tshirt.

parted my hair into sections for the different colours. i took too little hair for the pink at the top, i should have taken a bit more from the back, i wanted some pink over the blue. well at least next time i know how much i know i need to take for the pink on top.

applied the dye. took about 1 and a half hours to part my hair and finish applying the dye haha.

the end result

see, i wanted more pink at the back over the blue/purple. i didn’t part my hair properly, now i have one whole patch of blue at the back. but it doesn’t matter, i still like my hair :D and in 2 months or so i’ll re-do it better :)

i want a cute pair of clogs. right now i am a little clog crazy.

i just love this style! and the clogs are so cute and pretty! i need a pair! this picture is a chanel picture.

i want this pair but it is so expensive! and a little too high for me.

» 8:50 pm
»

ahhhh!
ahhhh!
ahhhh!

my hair dye arrived!

AHHHH!

im soooooo gonna bleach and dye my hair tomorrow!!!! AHHHHHHH i am so happy!!

now, only if i don’t make an entire mess out of my head!

blue velvet, pimpin’ purple, wildflower and atomic pink.

i wanna advertise for shiseido blotting paper!

yeah i fail.

but anyway. i really love this blotting paper! i don’t like those made out of mineral oil like clean & clear blotting paper, i prefer pure paper pulp blotting papers! however, most of those made of pure pulp are too thin and break so easily! but this shiseido blotting paper is thin, but doesn’t break! and it’s just paper pulp! i love it~~ i will stock up on it in august!! if i can find it! sasa here no longer sells it since a couple of years back :(

i can’t wait to dye my hair tomorrow!

now im really wishing for something (vidoll concert tickets actually. but i don’t know if i can get it cuz it only goes on sale 24th jul but right now, RIGHT NOW vidoll fanclub members can start buying it till 22nd june so i am seriously worried it will get sold out! due to the unfortunate situation vidoll and jui is in right now :( it’s my lifelong dream (ok only less than 6 years i guess) to see vidoll!! they’re my first favourite band and is still my favourite band now! i really wish i was living in japan so i can be a fanclub member, ahhh i so envy people whose favourite musicians or bands are from the same country as they are, it really sucks when your favourite band is like a long expensive air flight away! and it also sucks when you’re living in a place where no musician seems interested in coming to perform.)

anyway i am so happy! i bought 2 dresses yesterday! my mom brought me out shopping! but, i cannot find any nice shoes :( i seriously cannot understand how can anyone remotely like any of the thousands of shoes i saw. i know i have got weird taste but i really cannot understand, it’s like every single shoe sold here is just ewwwwww! is my taste that bad?? my mom told me to buy shoes when i am in japan, maybe i might find something i like over there. but i think they stuff i find over there is probably not gonna be much different, and i don’t wish to buy those lolita shoes, i need a relatively normal pair i can match with normal clothes.

ok i just fried some rice.
i have to fry rice because my mom is forcing me to cook today. because i have a lot of frozen meat in the freezer left from my making of beef and chicken stock, and i didn’t want to throw them away cuz i don’t wanna waste edible meat. so it has been there for weeks and my mom is forcing me to use them up now. this is the first time in my life i ever fried rice. i think it tastes ok, because i added soy sauce into it hahaha. there is only one miserable egg in the entire fridge, not enough!

haha i just saw vidoll’s shun online! for like, half a minute haha. why can’t jui come online more often :(

anyway my mom is crazy! just yesterday she asked me why my microdermal was so small. isn’t it funny? she wasn’t too happy when i first gotten my microdermal and now she ask me why i chose such an inconspicuous jewelry! and she compared it to the bump under her chin or was it her neck. and im like my jewelry sparkles not your bump and she’s like no it doesn’t sparkle much :( i will change it to something bigger soon!! i need to buy my anatometal gem. i am still deciding what colour :(

» 11:46 pm
» tired

edit: i learnt a new word yesterday.

CLOUDED.

i feel clouded now. what a handy word.

///

i am so tired.

anyway, this is the first time i ___ after ________.
would have told you all. i hope i don’t come across as fishing for sympathy, im sorry if i did, i def wouldn’t like if if i were my friends who had to listen to me.
but i really wanted people to listen. maybe i am selfish. i am sorry.

i still think i am horrible. but m___ p_____ d__’_ t____ i a_, but i know myself better.

but i didn’t expect to be so worn out these few days. i feel like my life plan has hit a roadblock. it was going so smoothly.

i was late.
time will never turn back.

» 12:47 pm
» new wig!

this is my new wig!

a comparison with and without the wig.

the wig looks kind of short on me.

a video. you can see the wig clearer here. it actually looks quite nice in the video.

anyway i bought 4 bottles of hair dye, waiting for it to be shipped to me. the colours are atomic pink (a very bright pink), pimpin purple (a reddish purple), wildflower (a blue purple) and blue velvet (a very dark violet blue). hopefully i can dye these 4 colours onto my head successfully in a nice way. before i woke up today i dreamt i was dyeing my hair these colours. haha. and in my dream i forgot to bleach beforehand.

my new circle lenses rock. they make me look good!

anyway i have not worn eye makeup for long time so when i wore it to my exams i was kind of not used to it. too used to my pale eyelids. but now that exams are over, i think i’ll start wearing eye makeup again :)

my exam was a disaster. all i can hope now is to pray to god and god will bless me and help me pass my exams. i need a miracle.

anyway the song on my blog now is eien no yume by kisaki project feat. jui. jui may take a half year break from singing cuz he has a blood clot in his throat, and i think he’ll go for surgery. i hope he gets better. i don’t want jui to lose his voice, he has the nicest, sweetest voice in the entire world. i just hope that he can recover and get his original voice back and start singing again. i think it is his dream to sing and he wants vidoll to wait for him. i hope vidoll waits for him! all vidoll fans have to wait for him too! i am happy that he managed to live his dream and that i had a chance to get to know vidoll songs and hear his voice.

» 8:55 pm
»

2 more days to go, and 5 more days to freedom~

my mind is fresh and energetic and ready to face the worst head on!

but i am already thinking of the future.

i have a to do list.

1. dye multi coloured hair (pink, violet and blue)
2. get job interviews
3. try to figure out how to order a wig from gabalnara cuz their gmarket shop doesn’t ship out of korea urgh.
4. if i can’t get a wig i need to buy black hairspray from gatsby and figure out how to use it.
5. figure out how to tell my mom i wanna go to japan.
6. convince her to let me go.
7. plan for japan trip.

anyway i just ordered my wig from gmarket! ordered from this sho called gabalfriends.

kind of plain, but i need a wig i can wear to job interviews! i wish i can buy those wavy curly long wigs but they are not suitable for job interviews. and i wanted a long shaggy guy’s wig but in the end i decided against it cuz im afraid guy wigs may be bigger and too loose for my head. i don’t know. but the guy’s wig is sooo nice!

such a nice wig :( i wanted it. but right now i can’t afford 2 wigs (my wig cost me USD 54) and i can’t take the risk of buying a ill-fitting wig so i’ll just have to make do with the one i bought.

maybe i should give my wig a haircut :) but it’s an irreversible process, dunno if i should. hope my wig comes soon. who knows it might look good on me! i have not have dark hair for quite some time!